SOURCE – Eagles tight end Dallas Goedert was sucker-punched while out to dinner with his family, a source tells PFT. Goedert, 25, was uninjured.

He was at a South Dakota restaurant on Friday when, unprovoked, someone punched him in the face. Goedert was checked out at a local hospital as a precaution. No other details about the incident are known right now.


I’m going to need better protection around our second in command tight end. Especially if the Zach Ertz trade rumors turn out to be true. If Dallas is going to be the next coming maybe we get some security around him or at least find a former linebacker at SD State that can at least follow him around in South Dakota.

Maybe this was a case of mistaken identity. If you saw Dallas Goedert in a South Dakota bar would you think he was an NFL football player or a guy that might dabble a little bit in meth?


Screen Shot 2020-06-20 at 7.27.02 PM


Meth is like the 3rd leading export out of South Dakota. Granite rock, cloth that makes teepees, and meth. Maybe this guy who sucker punched Dallas thought he was the guy who robbed him for some meth that one time. We’ve all been there when someone thought we were someone else and wanted to kick our ass. If someone sucker punched me in the bar they’d probably be a poor boy named Jack and the reason he hit me was because I stole all his family jewels and hid them up in the clouds on my beanstalk just fee fi fo fumming all over the joint.


UPDATE: Lane Johnson, Rasul Douglas, and Avonte Maddox (Dallas Goedert’s roommate) are ready for blood. This means absolutely nothing for the upcoming season, but this screams 12-4 right? When you drop “swear on everything” and “deadass” it’s not a joke. There’s no doubt Dallas knows who this guy is or at least finds out. The Linc has more people in it on Sunday than South Dakota does any day of the week.