What’s worse than going to a party with co-workers to celebrate someone’s birthday? Leaving with a disease not seen in 100 years. Screw the fact that the Velveeta queso dip was cold by the time Zeke got their and the fact Dak got the Tostitos Restaurant Style chips instead of the Scoops. Imagine having to go to a shitty party because Dak refused to give you carries if you bailed, and now you’re going to probably derail the entire NFL season because you got Corona.
What an asshole Zeke is for trying to bring Corona into the locker room. He’s like the guy at work hacking up a lung in the cube who tries to tell you it’s just a throat tickle. Turns out it was the flu and it picks off your team one by one like a linebacker playing against Jameis Winston.
Don’t let Dak and Zeke forget that when there’s a pandemic people need to adhere to social distancing guidelines. Next time Dak comes to town we all need to let him know it’s important to adhere to pandemic guidelines. That’s why we made shirts to spread the news.