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Back in the early 2010s Sheena Parveen and Kacie McDonnell were running the traffic and weather game for the horniest dad’s in the Delaware Valley. Days, weeks, and months were ruined if your father got stuck in traffic on 76 and missed the 6 o’clock news. It was appointment television for anyone age 11-65. After Kacie left for the big leagues at Fox Nation and Sheena went south to D.C. there was a void left in the hearts of patriarchs around the Delaware Valley that couldn’t be filled with the love of their children.

Until now…

Katie Katro is snatching that torch from the greats before her and putting the city of Philadelphia on her back. ABC6 just became appointment DVR’ing. The advertising team at ABC6 better be working overtime right now. All you do is email your leads a picture of Katie with “6 o’clock news (eyeball emojis)?” and you’re locking down million dollar ad deals.


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The best thing to ever happen to the dad demo is this quarantine. They’re going to petition their bosses to let them work remote once the lockdown is over. Automobile accidents are going to increase tenfold post-Corona because men will be scratching and clawing their way down 76 to catch a glimpse of Katie. They’re going to be studying the Ca-Kastro-phe (working title) in journalism textbooks all over Syracuse and Northwestern.

Families are going to be ruined because no guy is going to want to join their family for dinner when Katie’s on. It’s going to be like the walkie talkie scene from American Pie 2.



Imagine having the soothing voice of Jim Gardner on the 6 welcoming you in and then boom! He hit’s you with a left hook and throws it over to Katie to report on the coronavirus rocking a mask looking like a hot Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat. Weaker men have died with less notice.

Plus she’s great under pressure.


Look at this guy slobbering all over Katie as she’s reporting on the legality of fireworks. Keep it in your pants my guy.


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Everybody better get onboard because NY, LA, DC, or Chicago is going to notice soon and she’s going to be gone before you ever had the chance to fully appreciate her.